


I'm Your Walking Disaster

by hamletmoonbathes



Series: Hotel Nights [2]
Category: Bastille (Band)
Genre: First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Hotels, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Room, this is wild world era btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 10:07:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20580755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamletmoonbathes/pseuds/hamletmoonbathes
Summary: The scars there aren't that bad now, just little silvery lines on each side of his belly button, but he wants to show Kyle. Wants him to know all of it. He feels like the dam holding his secrets in place is crumbling, and the flood of water feels like a baptism.Another hotel night with Dan and Kyle. Feelings are shared between best friends.





	I'm Your Walking Disaster

**Author's Note:**

> Part two of 'Hotel Nights'

Dan should honestly just stop taking baths (and doing other things) on their hotel nights. For some reason he just can't help falling asleep in the bath and waking up to Kyle shouting at him through the bathroom door. This time though, the door isn't locked and Kyle opens it wide, the air conditioned hotel room chilling Dan's wet skin. Dan jumps at the intrusion and pulls his legs up to his chin, hiding his body. The shower curtain is only pulled halfway across the bath, and Kyle is looking at him, wide eyed and with his hand still on the door handle.

"Sorry...," Kyle says, "I was worried about you, I didn't mean to just barge in." He looking at Dan's face, a look of worry matching Dan's surprised face. "Did I need to be worried, Dan?" Kyle questions.

Dan's heart is still racing from the commotion, so he takes a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. Kyle is still making intense eye contact, hopefully to avoid looking at the rest of the singer's body. "Um, it's alright, Kyle. I just...fell asleep again, I'm sorry." Dan says, looking down at the bath water. He glances up at Kyle after a moment and makes eye contact with him.

Kyle's eyes quickly scan his body, not being able to see much with his legs pressed tight to his chest, and then he scans the steamy room. Dan feels hot shame start to rise as Kyle's eyes land on the blade sitting on the counter. This time around he was using a replacement blade to a box cutter, easy to hide and not noticeably missed. Dan's stomach does a full drop as Kyle takes a step closer to the counter with the blade. Kyle looks back at Dan and the singer sees something in his eyes that he's not used to seeing. Kyle is always the strong one between them, and Dan sees a vulnerability in his band mate's eyes that he doesn't recognize. It makes his heart heavy.

"Dan, you know how much I respect you, and you're my best friend. I will always be here for you, will you please talk to me about what's going on? I'm not gonna lie, babes, I'm scared for you." Dan had started crying about halfway though Kyle's words, part from shame, and part grief for making Kyle so concerned. Things lately have really gotten out of hand. He looks away from Kyle, resting his cheek on his tucked up knees and facing the bathtub wall.

"Dan, please don't shut me out." Kyle says, and Dan hears him moving closer. He knows when Kyle is at the edge of the bath and he hears him settle down on the floor next to him. Dan doesn't want to face his best friend, both literally and figuratively. It feels like too much, and _fuck, he doesn't think this is a conversation to have in the bath, while he's stark bloody naked. _ Dan gives a small sniffle, rubbing his eyes.

"I love you, Dan, I meant what I said, you're my best friend." Dan finally looks at him, switching cheeks and laying his head back down on his knees. Kyle is sitting on folded legs with his hands on the edge of the bathtub, chin resting on them. He hears light tapping as Kyle's rings move on the bathtub surface. Dan thinks Kyle's eyes look watery and he feels even worse. "I fear I'm going to lose you. Like I am losing you, and I can't live with that." Kyle says, voice low and strained.

"I'm fine, Kyle." Dan hears himself say in a reassuring tone. _Lies. _"I'm just stressed from this tour. You know how I get." Kyle looks pleadingly at him, "Is this making the stress go away? You...cutting yourself?" _Wow, okay, straight to the point. I guess that's deserved. _"I, um, I don't know. I thought it did, but now I'm not so sure."

Dan watches as Kyle places a warm hand on his forearm. "What can I do, babes?" Kyle says, almost with desperation. He's staring at Dan's face with intent, waiting for him to answer. "I know I need to stop, Ky, I know. I'm sorry." Kyle places his hand on the back of Dan's neck and leans forward slightly. "Don't apologize, please just let me know how I can help. I want you to get better."

"I'm not sure, Kyle, I think maybe just time? I'll try to stop, I promise." Day says, and he feels himself mean it, which actually comes as a relief to him. Kyle is nodding at him, tears staining his face. "I know this is personal, and you can tell me to fuck off, but can I look at your arms? I just want to make sure you're okay." Dan knows Kyle has already seen the cuts. If he's wearing a short sleeve shirt (which he tries not to do) he tries to fold his arms over his torso so they don't draw any attention, but he knows people notice. At this moment, he realizes that Kyle could have asked him anything and he probably would have done it. He lifts his right arm from his legs and holds it out. _There's... a lot on this one, _and the cuts from tonight are shockingly red. Kyle hesitantly touches Dan's fingers, looking at his arm. "Can I...can I bandage them or anything?" Kyle asks, glancing up into Dan's eyes. The singer shakes his head. "It's okay, they'll heal," Dan says quietly. "Okay," Kyle says, sniffling and pulling his hand back, "Can I see your other arm too?" Dan pulls his right arm back and then just kind of lifts his left arm up in the air. It's not as bad, there's a lot of fading scars, barely noticeable.

"Thank you, Dan, I know this is hard for you. Thank you for trusting me." Kyle says and then he looks slightly embarrassed "Are there any, um, anywhere else?" Kyle asks, and Dan knows he is trying not to make him uncomfortable. _They are other places. _"There are some on my stomach," Dan says quietly, "They're old though." He says, averting his eyes.

"Do you mind if I get out of the bath and get dressed? This water is pretty cold now." Dan says.

"Oh! Uh, yeah, let me leave you alone. I'm sorry, baby, I know you're uncomfortable." Kyle says, rising from the floor and turning his back. "I'll be in the other room if you need anything." Kyle tells him, glancing back.

Dan nods his head "I'll be okay, just give me a few minutes." Kyle leaves the bathroom with a soft press of the door and Dan pulls the plug of the bath and lets the water drain. He gets out and quickly dries off and gets dressed. He's shaking, hands unsteady and head dizzy. His face feels warm, and he looks in the mirror to confirm. _Yeah, his cheeks are super flushed. _Dan pulls his shirt up a little, looking at his lower stomach. The scars there aren't that bad now, just little silvery lines on each side of his belly button, but he wants to show Kyle. Wants him to know all of it. He feels like the dam holding his secrets in place is crumbling, and the flood of water feels like a baptism. He feels somehow confident. Which is... weird for him, especially after what has already happened tonight.

Dan leaves the bathroom, leaving the blade on the counter and his old clothes on the floor. It feels good not to double check for anything suspicious or bloodstains on the floor. Kyle is sitting in the armchair by the window of the hotel room, looking outside. It's almost sundown and the remaining glow is radiating around Kyle's face. He looks at Dan, looking him up and down before meeting his eyes. Dan realizes he's just kind of standing there, shivering, wet hair chilling his neck, drops of water dripping down his back. "Come here, baby." Kyle says, moving his hand to motion him closer. Dan walks slowly over to him. Kyle slides over on the armchair, leaving a little space for Dan. The singer sits sideways on the chair, bum next to Kyle's thighs, legs bent with his feet tucked into the chair on the other side of Kyle's legs. Kyle wraps an arm around his torso, hand resting on Dan's rib cage. Dan leans his cheek against Kyle, resting on his collarbone.

Dan feels like crying, like a lot, so he does. He sobs, feeling quite childish, but trying to block that out. Choosing to listen to Kyle whisper soft things to him. Kyle ends up with a hand in Dan's hair, gently stroking, and eventually Dan's heart beats steadily and the tears stop flowing. He's tired, exhausted, and not just from today, but from this whole tour. From the lies he so casually tells, to the worried look on Kyle's face that seems to show itself much more frequently. "I love you, Kyle" he blurts out, surprised at himself. Kyle's hand lowers onto the back of Dan's neck, holing firm. "I love you, Dan, so much, and I'll always be here for you." Kyle is almost squeezing him, and it makes Dan feel good, _like really good, _and with uncharacteristic confidence, he leans his face up, pulls back a little from Kyle's chin and kisses him. Dan's eyes are closed tightly and his kiss has a lot of force to it. He knows Kyle is surprised, but the hold on his neck is tight and soon Kyle is pressing their faces closer together. It's overwhelming for Dan and he pulls back to take a breath. Kyle quickly looks in his eyes before drawing his gaze back down to Dan's lips, which are parted slightly with quick breaths rushing in and out. Kyle leans forward, capturing his lips again, and Dan kisses back with desperation and relief. Kyle's tongue is in Dan's mouth, making itself at home, and Dan welcomes it with his own. There's not any fighting for dominance or uncertainty between them. Kyle sets the pace and Dan dutifully follows. Kyle pulls back this time, smiling before pecking Dan again on the lips. He then kisses Dan's face, below each eye, high on his cheekbones. His hands are resting on Dan's jaw, angling his face up.

"Thank you." Dan says quietly, and it's not for the kiss, not entirely. It's for everything Kyle has done for him and the love Kyle has shown even when it was difficult for Dan to reciprocate. Kyle laughs, a deep rumble.

"You're welcome, babes." He says, smiling. Dan returns the smile, almost feeling giddy, and Dan quite enjoys the feeling. He almost doesn't want to make any movements or say anything, content to just rest in the moment. Kyle makes the decision to break the moment by kissing Dan gently on the lips again, make the singer smile even wider. "This is all very exciting." Kyle says with a playful look in his eyes, tone soft.

"Should we like, celebrate?" Dan says, still giddy. "Or is that weird?"

"Well I do have a _lovely _bottle of whiskey in my bag, and I certainly wouldn't mind sharing it with you." Kyle says, emphasizing his words with a few playful tilts of his head. "But first," he continues, "We should both eat, and I for one really want to try that little pizza place across the street," nodding his head towards the window.

Dan twists his body a little in the chair, glancing outside. There is a small pizza joint with lots of neon signs in the windows. A few people are sitting outside on picnic tables, and there's people walking all along the street. "Okay," Dan says quietly, smiling and making his cheeks hurt. He's blushing like a teenager and he feels just as young.

The pair leave the hotel and walk across the street. They each grab a slice of pizza and sit in the corner of the restaurant at a small table, their feet constantly bumping together. Kyle catches one of Dan's feet between his own and pulls it over to him. Dan lifts his other foot and places it shyly on Kyle's. They're both smiling and that playful look has returned to Kyle's face. They don't say much as they eat, but they can't look away from each other and to anyone else it's probably super weird - two people just silently eating and staring at each other - but it fits for them, and it makes Dan's stomach do little flips.

When they leave the pizza shop it's dark, and Kyle grabs Dan's hand before crossing the street.

When they make it back to their hotel room Dan can't stop himself from kissing Kyle again. They're standing in the middle of the room and Dan leans his face forward, Kyle grabs his hips and pulls him close. They kiss with open mouths, this time Dan shoving his tongue in Kyle's mouth almost immediately. Kyle groans, gripping the singer's hips tight. The pair stay embraced until they're both quite warm and Dan is breathing too heavily to continue kissing. Kyle takes the opportunity to kiss Dan's throat, high above his collarbone, and it makes Dan dizzy as he grips the back of Kyle's neck. Kyle's mouth finds Dan's again and he gives the singer a soft peck before whispering a "hold on" on his lips. Dan watches as Kyle walks over to his bag and pulls out the previously mentioned whiskey. Kyle takes a long drink from the bottle, making a face before walking over to Dan and offering him the bottle.

Dan places his hand over Kyle's on the bottle, not allowing the pianist to let go, and guides the whiskey up to his mouth. He lets Kyle tip the bottle into his mouth, taking the drink eagerly. His whole body starts to tingle as he watches Kyle take another dink before moving the bottle back to Dan's lips. Kyle pulls his phone out and shuffles his Spotify, turning the volume up and setting it on the nearby piece of furniture. They start to sway together, half dancing, half just pressed together, occasionally taking a drink and kissing in between. Dan gets drunk pretty quickly, soon dramatically singing along to the songs and giggling. Kyle laughs with him, moving to the music.

They end up on one of the beds, flipping drunkenly through the cable channels, Dan insisting that there must be a good movie one. He soon gets caught up watching a late night infomercial for some weird kitchen gadget and when he looks over, Kyle is sleeping with his face smashed into a pillow, hand gripping the hem of Dan's shirt. Dan turns the volume of the TV down before settling next to his best friend, faces close. He grabs his phone, quickly setting his alarm and then texting Will goodnight, asking for him to make sure Kyle and him are awake in the morning. Will texts back the smiling emoji with the cowboy hat, which Dan assumes means okay. He places his phone back on the bed and grabs Kyle's hand, pulling it over his turned torso and moving closer.

Kyle makes a small noise and tightens his arm, squeezing Dan close to him. The singer lays there, looking at Kyle's face, the glow from the TV casting shadows, while listening to the infomercial begin again. He starts to fall asleep, his last thought being excitement for the future, of the time with Kyle he'll have and the experiences they'll create with each other. It makes him smile sweetly one last time before he finally drifts to sleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!


End file.
